/ Parenting

My early morning wake-up routine

4:30am - Wake up, get baby out of crib, hand baby to wife
4:40 - Take sleeping baby and veeeeery carefully put him back in crib
5:05 - Finally fall back asleep
5:10 - Wake up and get baby out of crib, hand baby to wife
5:25 - Take very awake baby to rocking chair in living room and try to rock back to sleep
5:40 - Take finally asleep baby and veeeeery carefully put back in crib
6:15 - Finally fall back asleep
6:20 - Wake up and get baby out of crib, hand baby to wife
6:21 - Baby falls asleep next to wife, don't even attempt to put back in crib
6:30 - Fall back asleep
6:31 - 4-year old wakes up asking if he can get a banana, I say yes and fall back asleep
6:33 - Hear loud noise in kitchen and hope 4-year old still alive, fall back asleep
6:45 - 4-year old asks if he can play computer now that "it's blue outside", I say yes so I can maybe, just maybe get some sleep
6:55 - Fall back asleep
7:00 - Baby wakes up. I beg my wife to let me sleep in and then feel guilty for making her wake up, but still fall asleep b/c I'm so damn tired
7:05 - 4-year old wakes me up to tell me about the Portal gun that shoots gel. I say "okay" then try and fall back asleep
7:35 - Fall back asleep
8:00 - Wake up in a panic that I'm late to work. Look at clock and fall back asleep
8:05 - Wake up in a panic that I'm late to work. Look at clock and fall back asleep
8:10 - Wake up in a panic that I'm late to work. Look at clock and fall back asleep
9:15 - Wake up in a panic that I'm late to work. Look at clock and realize I'm late to work. Fall back asleep
9:16 - Wife hands me baby so she can get some sleep.