Why I Can't Meditate

I should meditate tonight. Even just five minutes would help.

Really, the time would be totally worth it, because I'd be more relaxed, more focused and more productive for the other 1335 minutes of the day.

But I really don't have time.

The dishes still need to be done.

And I should probably clean up the living room.

And I need to go practice piano.

And meditation is boring.

I barely have any free time. I don't want to waste any of it.

Five minutes is just too much. I need to get a blog post written and do something productive. I've been so scatterbrained all day that I haven't made any real progress on my work.

I probably couldn't focus even if I did try and meditate.

Plus I'm too stressed. Work was really difficult today and I just need to veg out and watch some TV.

Oh, someone just sent me a text and I need to respond.

Might as well check e-mail in case something important happened.

Hmm, I've got a couple notifications in Facebook. Probably just a 'someone liked your status', but maybe someone made a funny comment on my post from earlier.

No, it was just someone inviting me to play Candy Crush Saga again. So annoying. That bothers me more than it should. Why does that bother me so much?

Man I'm really tense. When did I get to be so tense? Why can't I just relax?

Maybe I need a beer. That will help me calm down and take the edge off.

Maybe I can meditate after a beer.

Meditation makes me think too much and I don't want to think right now.

I've been thinking all day... really about the same thing. I'm kind of stuck on it, you know? How do I get unstuck?

I'm really in no place to start meditating. I should start tomorrow though. Get one good night of sleep, that way I'll be energized enough to process my thoughts.

I hate my thoughts. They're always so critical and judging of others. Why do I have to complain so much? Why can't I just let go of things? Why can't I find some sort of lasting happiness?

Oh man, it's getting late and this beer has just made me tired. I'm just too tired to meditate now.

I really should meditate tomorrow, but I need to rest for it and I can't get to sleep now. My mind is racing a mile-a-minute and is just full of thoughts. Why do I have to be so awake when I was so drowsy right before I lied down?

I really don't have time to waste trying to fall asleep. Why can't I be one of those people who fall asleep in five minutes?

Oh, another Facebook notification. I shouldn't check it, but maybe it would help me get my thoughts off of not being able to fall asleep.

Might as well look and see if anyone posted something interesting.

No, nothing. Just a bunch of events people are going to and some things that don't relate to me. That was a waste of five minutes.

I don't feel any less tired.

This sucks.

I need to get to sleep.

It's stressing me out that I'm still awake when I know I'm going to be super tired in the morning.

How am I supposed to fit in meditation if I can't relax or focus or be productive during the day? Besides, isn't it supposed to be helping me with those things?

Oh.

If you want to give meditation a try but don't know where to start, check out BusyMind. It's a simple guided mindfulness meditation app I made that's available on both Android and iPhone/iPad. It's also available for free on the web at busymindapp.com.